


Pills

by ncityinyourseat



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Animal Crossing References, Anxiety, Anxiety Meds, Anyways lets hope Chan doesn't beat up Minho, Bang Chan is Whipped, Bang Chan is a Good Friend, Bang Chan is a Sweetheart, Chan is just trying to be a good person, Chan wants to beat up Minho, Crying, Han Jisung | Han-centric, Hyunjin is there but like only mentioned in the second chapter, I wrote a secind chapter wooo, Inspired by Pills by Joji, Jisug is still crying, Jisung can't deal with change, Jisung gets the help he needs, Jisung plays Animal Crossing to cope lol, Jisung wants to hate Minho, Lol Minsung broke up, Lots of Crying, M/M, MCDONALDS PARKING LOT, Minho sounds like an ass but I like to imagine he actually wants to become friends with Jisung again, Minsung postbreakup, Multi, Panic Attacks, Please Don't Hate Me, Please read, Switches to Minho for the last little bit though, lol this sucks a lot and looks rushed but it took me like amonth to complete, music inspired, this is my first fic on here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-02-19 08:10:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22641790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ncityinyourseat/pseuds/ncityinyourseat
Summary: Please don't run awayWhere'd you go?I thought we'd last foreverWhere'd I go?I was sinking through the leatherI need you back
Relationships: Bang Chan/Han Jisung | Han, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Minho | Lee Know/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 77





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I suggest listening to Joji's 'Run' and 'Pills' while reading this idk man but it makes it better
> 
> Edit: This was priginally posted on January, 10, 2020, but i updated the publication date so it would be newer!

Jisung couldn’t stop crying, holy shit. Why was this always the case? Why was he always the one getting hurt? It’s been a year, he’s still crying. Of course he thought he’d be over Minho. Then there he was, stumbling down the stairs all over some tall jerk(he couldn’t tell who this was it was a halloween party after all.). In that moment he’d felt everything dim down, he felt light headed, the music faded out to a buzz and his mind instantly went back to June of last year.

_“Jisung- baby- don’t cry, it’s not you-”_

_“-It’s me. Everyone uses that line,” Jisung quickly cuts off the taller, his whole world was collapsing around him. So was their relationship of four years going to end just because Minho couldn’t help but fall in love with some whore named Ki? Yes. What did he look like? A run-way model. Does he kiss better than Jisung? Probably._

_“I just don’t want to waste your time in a one-way relationship Sungie-” Minho started, trying to come up to cup the younger’s cheeks. His hands were instantly swat away, he could tell Jisung wanted to cry. Jisung was all too stubborn to cry right now, he’d probably act like they never knew each other in a week. Like what they had was nothing, to Minho it just ended but they were still-_

_“Don’t. Fucking. Call. Me. That,” Jisung snaps back, it’s like the only way he could communicate is by cutting the other off. He didn’t want to hear it though. No one does, no one would want to. He couldn’t hear anymore, and stormed off. He didn’t even know where he was going. He never wanted to see Minho again._

Now he was here, after seeing Minho again, he ran off to the bathroom and locked himself in. He’s not sure he ever has cried this much, he needed to get away. Not just because he was about to cry in front of his friends, but because the lights were starting to make him feel dizzy. He was overloaded with different emotions and sensations. The music was still blasting and that didn’t help at all. With shaky hands the boy went to go get his phone from his sweaters pocket, his earbuds coming out of the other. He tried to stabilize himself before plugging his earbuds into his phone, but it still took a couple of tries. Once he finally navigated to his Spotify and clicked shuffle he was already too far gone.

 _‘Where’d you go? I thought we’d last forever. Where’d I go? I’m sinking through the leather.’_ Jisung quietly mouths, his back pressed to the locked door and he’s already on the floor. Tucking his knees to his chin, he feels numb. There’s still tears coming down his face. It doesn’t look like they will stop anytime soon. Why did Minho look so happy? Wasn’t he impacted at all by seeing Jisung? Did he even see him? It was all his fault. He hated Minho with such a passion- he wanted to but he couldn’t.

 _‘Zoloft, Xanax, Zoloft, Xanax.’_ This time Jisung was reaching into the backpocket of his jeans, he can’t feel them. He always leaves them in the back pocket of his jeans just in case of a situation like this. That’s when it hit him, he left his anxiety meds with Chan. Jisung tried to call Chan multiple times, but he wasn’t picking up. He now knows calling the older would be absolutely useless, Chan’s phone had probably died. Slowly, Jisung pushes himself off of the ground and unlocks the door. Taking in a deep breath before opening the door. The loud music and people talking seeped through his music, the earbuds now useless he tugged them out. The music fighting over one another made him dizzy anyways. He paused the music on his phone before turning his attention to looking for Chan. He wanted to go home.

 _‘I don't know why, I feel this way, I feel the same, I don't know why.’_ Jisung stumbled around, he was utterly lost and no one at a party really wants to help a babbling, crying, emotional unstable male. He really doesn’t blame them. He keeps jumping up, going on his tippy-toes, anything that could help him see the other. He tries speaking, but whenever he does a sob comes out of his mouth and he just ends up crying more than he was before. His vision starts to get blurry with tears, he’s barely in control of his body at this point. His breathing pattern is quick and the breaths he’s taking in don’t really help him at all. Finally his body hit a wall, slumping down against it and curling in a ball of his own pain and misery. It was embarrassing, he was crying at a party like a child. He was balling his eyes out. This is why Minho left him, he was pathetic. He always has been. Minho left when he got the chance, can Jisung really blame him? No, he can’t he would’ve done the same. The music felt like it was ripping into his head, people's voices became far too loud, everyone seemed to be looking at him. He was being judged by everyone. He had to get somewhere quieter, find someone he knows. Get someone to take him to Chan because he can't do it himself, even in his dazed state it's obvious. He stumbles upward, towards the stairs, gasping for air. There’s still tears coming down his face, any eyeliner he’s put on tonight is already running down his face or on the floor.

The bass gets quieter once he’s halfway up the stairs, now his head doesn’t hurt as much as it used to. He slumps back down on the stairs, he can’t do this anymore. There’s still tears coming down his face but he’s not sure why anymore. Everything stopped being overwhelming and now he feels numb. He might just died here. That sounds like a nice option. Maybe he’s just cried so much that he’s passing out. Yep. That’s it. Though he’s heard that it is rare. He waits a couple of seconds, head still pounding and tears and heavy breathing not coming to an end. It doesn’t happen though. He’s just tired. And feels like throwing up a little bit.

“Jisung?” He would know that voice anywhere, he used to love that voice. He hates himself for turning his head upwards to the voice. Sobbing when he finally makes eye contact with the person. “Oh no- Who did you come with? Do you have your anxiety meds with you?” Minho asks, rushing down the rest of the stairs to crouch beside Jisung.

“Chan-” Is all Jisung gasps out, he’s shaking now. Why is Minho helping him? He shouldn’t be, he’d rather die than face Minho like this. It hurts so much to see Minho.

“Come on, I’ll take you to him. He has your anxiety meds, right?” Minho asks, holding onto Jisungs waist as he hoists the boy to a standing position. Minho gently grabs Jisung’s arm and puts it around his shoulder. Helping the boy down the stairs, he doesn’t trust Jisung enough to stand on his own. Minho pushes through people, looking over crowds to try and find Chan. Devastated he can’t help Jisung himself, though he’s not sure the other would want his help after what he did. It’s fair, Jisung’s allowed to feel whatever he wants to. Minho won’t blame him for hating him and with the way Jisung initially looked at him when he first saw him, he’s not over him. Jisung’s always wore his heart on his sleeve. Minho spots Chan, he’s looking around for who Minho assumes to be Jisung. He turns around to spot Jisung, rushing over to the youngest.

“Jisung, where were you? Are you crying?” Chan asks, reaching into his back pocket for what Minho assumes to be Jisung’s anxiety meds. He takes Jisung away from Minho, paying no attention to the taller boy at all. Instead focusing completely on Jisung. The youngest wraps around Chan, crying into his white shirt. Though he makes eye contact with Minho for a second, letting out a sigh. “Thank you for taking Jisung to me.”

“It’s nothing, guess I was just at the right place at the right time and found him,” Minho shrugs before, turning around and leaving. He takes one final look at jisung and it breaks his heart seeing him cry. He regrets leaving, he always has. He has the chance to make this right, but like the screw up he is, doesn’t.

_‘I need you back_

_I need you back_

_I need you bad_

_I need you back (yeah, yeah, yeah)_

_Where'd you go?_

_I thought we'd last forever (last forever)_

_Where'd I go?_

_I was sinking through the leather’_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In honour of someone suggesting i make a follow up to this one-shot, here you go. It's not the best but it's all I can give and I would like to leave this story open-ended and maybe even invite you to write your own ending to this. I wanted to add more Joji refrences in thsi one too but couldn't fit any in here.
> 
> This Chapter is a lot more Chan and Jisung related because I felt like they had a good dynamic, but also because I love Chan with my whole heart.

Jisung hiccupped in the passenger seat of Chan’s, there’s still tears running down the younger boy’s cheeks. Chan isn’t sure how Jisung is able to cry for this long. It shouldn’t be humanly possible. The car is silent except for Jisung, Chan feels too bad to actually turn on music. Too scared that if a specific song from Chan’s playlist starts to play it’ll set Jisung off. He doesn’t want to hurt Jisung, the boy has suffered enough tonight. Chan looks over to Jisung, there’s no more tears, he's just dry sobbing now. Chan opens his mouth to try and say something, nothing would be appropriate right now.

When Chan saw Minho holding a crying Jisung he’d never wanted to punch someone more. He wanted to give Minho a nose bleed, but Jisung was there sobbing, probably having a panic attack. Chan guessed from the boys laboured breaths and crying. He didn’t want Jisung panicking more than he already was or cause up a stir. Instead keeping it civil and just taking Jisung, saying his thanks to Minho and leaving the party completely. Despite doing all that he still had an edge to him, still wanted nothing more than to beat Minho up.

“You’re too quiet…” Jisung huffs out, his voice is quiet and soft and full of hurt. Chan probably won’t have been able to hear him if it wasn’t for how quiet the car was, there was no one driving near them. The streets were too empty for Chan’s liking, there was nothing to talk about. Or maybe it was more he didn’t want to talk because if he did he was scared he’d explode on Jisung for something he didn’t do. He clenched his jaw, the unclenched it taking a deep breath in.

“Are you mad at me?”

  
Chan snapped his head over to look at Jisung, he definitely couldn’t keep this conversation up if he was trying to drive. He let the question hang in the air as he turned into the parking lot of a McDonald’s that looked to still be open. Maybe he could get Jisung something to eat after they talked. He pulled into a parking spot away from the actual fast-food restaurant, it was probably a little suspicious. Chan didn’t care, he just shut off the engine and turned to face Jisung. The other boy wasn’t even looking at him.

“I could never be mad at you. I promise, you were so brave tonight and I’m so sorry for not being there with you,” Jisung started to look at him, “I’m so proud of you and I’m such a bad friend… I should’ve known that something was wrong when you didn't come back after five minutes-”

“-Chan”

“No, I should be the one apologizing. You didn’t ruin my night at all,” Chan took the other boys hands and laced them together with his own. He offered Jisung a smile, which the boy somewhat returned.

“Chan?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we get Big Macs now?”

“Sure.”

* * *

Jisung had refused to go back to his own dorm, scared that his roommate, Hyunjin, would make fun of him for crying. So instead Chris had gone into Jisung’s dorm and gathered some of his stuff, including Jisung’s Nintendo Switch Lite(he almost forgot it until he saw it peeking out under Jisung’s pillow.). Deciding to leave out Jisung’s pajamas because he knew Jisung would just end up wearing Chan’s clothes anyways. Getting back into the car with a much happier Jisung and handing the other a small backpack.

Now Jisung was lying in Chan’s bed, complaining about capitalism in Animal Crossing. Chan laughed at the boy’s words, shaking his head when Jisung lost track of his thoughts after he caught a butterfly. Showing it proudly to Chan, before getting scared by the sound of a knock on the door. Huh, that was weird. Cha didn’t order any food, and his order from Amazon wasn’t scheduled to come until next week.

“I’ll get it,” Chan announced, getting up from his desk chair. He took a quick look in the mirror to see if he looked fine before running off to go answer the door. He opened the door cautiously, not wanting to get kidnapped tonight. Don’t get Chan wrong he’s normally a really nice dude and loves talking to people, but when he saw who was at the door he almost shut it. If it wasn’t for that person stopping him he would’ve.

“Hey is Jisung here?” Minho asked, fiddling with his sweater sleeves. Chan really can’t believe this man is in front of him AND asking for Jisung. How stupid is he? Very. Still he offers Minho a cold, sarcastic smile.

“No sorry he died,” Chan said deadpan, trying to close the door again. Being stopped by Minho from doing so for the second time tonight.

“Hyunjin told me he came here with you tonight-”

“Hyunjin lied, don’t trust people who haven’t played any pokemon game at least once in their lives.”

Chris tried to close the door again and was stopped by Minho. They played this game until Chan gave up, stepping outside with Minho and closing the door behind him.

“Listen, it’s one thing to dump Jisung and then act like you never knew him for like six months and leave me to take care of your mistake. It’s another thing to now go around asking for him and play him like the pawn you want all your boytoys to be. I can forgive you for fucking up once, I’m a nice guy, but twice, now that’s just unexceptable. Don’t you think?” Chan started out his sentence calm, but soon it sounded more threatening than he intended it to be. Even going as far as to grab Minho’s shirt collar.

“Look I’m not here to cause trouble- well- on your agenda, maybe it’s trouble- but I just want to try and become friends with Jisung again, at least?” Minho offers, his voice wavers a little and it takes everything in Chan’s body to not punch the boy. He lets go of Minho’s shit collar.

“Then do it on your own time, Jisung doesn’t have time for you right now. I’m sorry,” Chan concludes, opening the door again to let himself inside.

He turns back to look at Minho just before he walks inside and closes the door. Sighing out, “Please for the love of God, don’t screw things up again. Jisung doesn’t deserve that.” Chan closes the door and walks back over to his room and Jisung.

“What took you so long?” Jisung asks, scooting over so Chan could also fit onto the bed. It would be a tight fit, but it would work. Chan slips under the covers and Jisung wraps around him as soon as he’s laid down.

“Some delivery guy got lost, I had to give him directions. Felt bad for the dude, he looked so scared,” Chan lied, watching as Jisung frowns. He’s scared the boy doesn’t believe him for a second before Jisung sighs.

“I would be scared too, you’re scary sometimes.”

Chan’s happy he doesn’t have to worry Jisung anymore. He hopes that Minho just stays away again, finally gives Jisung the end he needs. Jisung deserves a happy ending, Chan would do anything to give him that… He really would.

He looks over to Jisung, who seems to finally be nodding off, he needs it after such a stressful night. Chan looks up at the ceiling, reaching over to the light switch close to his bed and switching off the lights. Then he goes back to looking at the ceiling, his eyes haven’t adjusted to the dark yet so he just stares at the abyss.

Chan knew that he might not get to be a part of Jisung’s happy ending, but just to know he was a step along the way was good enough. He hopes that he will be with Jisung for a long time, but he knows that is not always going to be the case. The boy might grow more without Chan by his side, even if it's sad to admit it’s true isn’t it? He enjoys the time right now, not knowing what will happen next. Not knowing the next turn in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on twt: @mcnds_mother

**Author's Note:**

> twt: @bussdownhoshi


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